Diagnosis: Smart, Lazy

Henry recently had his nine month checkup and we were somewhat surprised by what the doctor had to say. I first felt that something was amiss when the nurse asked me a round of questions to which I answered no. (does he pull up to a standing position, take steps, walk, stand on his own?). I could not help but also note the judgemental tone used when she told me that just placing the hands on the bars of the crib does not count as pulling up. I kind of checked out of the conversation at that point and started racking my brain trying to recall the most recent signs of brilliance or amazing physical feats and then remembered that HE IS A NINE MONTH OLD BABY. Everything he does is amazing to us. I wondered for a second if I should also let the nurse know that he does not prefer the readings of Nietzche over Mother Goose, nor does he take high tea in the sun room, but then remembered this woman would be drawing H's blood in a few minutes. Is this the same nurse that lovingly reminded me eight months ago that each baby is a snowflake that develops in their own unique way and timeline?

So the nurse left (taking her judgemental notes with her) and I began to prep Henry for Dr Patil. I was determined to prove to her that, despite my previous responses to their conformist benchmarks of hate, Henry was A-OK. I got out one of his Baby Einstein toys for him to show off with when she came in, but instead she got to walk in on me trying to forcibly remove a wad of examining table paper from his mouth. Not exactly helping the cause.

As she checked him out, I began to plead our case and asked if I should be concerned about him not walking or crawling, standing, etc... Thankfully, he was having a blast and turned up the charm to 11. Dr Patil questioned why I would even ask and said that, aside from being a bit on the lazy side (something about his predilection for being held), he is smart (translation, genious) and very strong (translation, advanced for his age). She also informed me that hands on the crib bars does count. As does rocking back and forth on all fours. As does standing with the support of his jumper. It turns out, everything he does counts. Eventhough Greg now has him in baby boot camp to prep him for full on crawling, it is no longer a concern of mine. If we have to carry him around at his first birthday party, like Ashley did with Ava, then so be it.

Below are my recommended additions to the nine month checklist I plan on submitting to the Soutwest Pediatrics suggestion box:

• Gives kisses (both American and Eskimo)


• Laughs uncontrollably when someone whispers in ear


• Gives big toothy, eye-squinting smiles when Momma walks in the room


• Feeds self cheerios, peas, blueberries, dirt from floor


• Pulls socks off and attempts to eat them


• Says "Da" or "Da-Da" when prompted to say Daddy, Deuce, Dog and Book


• Laughs when prompted to say Momma

Happy nine months (three days away from ten)!

I love my brilliant, lazy snowflake.