Birth Story, Part Deux (for real this time)

March 24th, 2006

5:30 AM- I was now having consistent contractions about five minutes apart. We checked into the hospital. I was given a gown to change into and a pain chart that displayed crudely drawn faces with varying expressions accompanied by a corresponding number. The higher the number, the more uncomfortable the face appeared. I was instructed to use this guide to communicate my pain level. I think they were concerned that I would find a less desirable way to communicate my discomfort. An IV was administered during which I pointed vigorously to the frowny face and yelled "eight, eight!" (just in case the nurse did not notice my chart pointing). I was partially being dramatic for Greg and partially testing the nurse to see how they would react to this method of pain communication. I thought to myself that if the smile she returned was all that my pointing would elicit, I was going to be in trouble. I was checked and was 3 cm dialated.

7:00 AM- Pain level 4 during contractions (straight line mouth). Potosin was administered. Mom and Greg were chatting about the breakfast tacos they were going to get. This is when I first felt like I needed to rinse my mouth with mouthwash. I familiarized myself with all of the bed controls so I could achieve maximum comfort. We watched the sunrise.

9:00 AM- Contractions were getting stronger. I was so proud of myself for how well I was tolerating them. I had no idea what was to come. Mom and Greg ate breakfast in front of me. Greg helped me with the mouthwash again.

11:15 AM- Dr. Schmitz checked me and I was dialated to 5 cm. She then broke my water. It was this moment that I realized that I would be leaving that room with a baby for real. No turning back now. The Dr. then suggested that I get on the birthing ball and try to rock back and forth to get things progressing. I highly recommend this labor activity.

11:30 AM- The contractions became more intense at this point. They quickly progressed from being managed by deep breathing and hand holding (6-frowny face) to instructing everyone in the room to not talk to or touch me (12-not on the chart). Except for helping with mouthwash. I continually reminded folks in the room that just because I was keeping it together and not screaming out bad words or crying, did not mean I was not in excruciating pain. This sounds crazy, but I liked experiencing this pain.

12:00 ish- Contractions still at 12, but now there was little break for recovery in between. I very politely requested the epidural. Joann (my nurse) said, "Sure, I will get on that" as she was helping me move from the birthing ball back to the bed.

12:01 PM- I not so politely asked if the epidural had been ordered, knowing full well that in the previous 54 seconds Joann had not telepathically summoned the anesthesiologist as she was helping me (sorry, Joann). She then assigned the assisting of my move to Greg and called the Dr. I wanted more mouthwash, but was in too much pain to rinse.

12:25 PM- Dr. Epidural arrived. The procedure was quick and if it hurt, it was completely masked by the pain of the contractions.

12:26 PM- Hallelujah! Pain level zero. Full on smiley face.

12:29 PM- I got in a debate with Joann about whether or not the epidural makes one loopy. In addition to being completely relieved of pain, I was also slightly novacane-headed. She informed me that it does not have such side affects. Oh yeah? Well how else can you explain why I was singing "Purple Haze" (vocals AND guitar) and thanking everyone in the room for the relief? You would think that I had won an award, "I could not have done it without you, Dr. Fisk..."

Joann had no answer.

1:35 PM- Fully dialated. Dr. Schmitz was called. I practice pushed. We were told the baby had hair. HAIR! There really was a baby on the way.

1:59 PM- I began the real pushing. It was amazing. Transcendental, even. I could feel everything but the pain. The realization of what was happening was completely overwhelming.

2:09 PM- After only 10 minutes and 3 contractions of pushing, Henry arrived. His brow was furrowed, his eyes were open and he was pooping. I was instantly in love.

I said it then and I will say it now, I would have him again tomorrow if I could.