Family Tradition

This is the cradle that my grandfather made for me when I was born, way back in 1977. He made it by hand out of cherrywood. The full story of its making is engraved on the underside. If everything goes according to plan, someday Henry's son or daughter can sleep in it, and I'll remember what a great guy my grandpa is.

Drop Me a Line

Seriously, what's a five-day old got to do to get some email around here? Walk on water?

The Guys

3-1, we outnumber you, Kelsey.

We got together, and decided that we'd rather watch sports than Entertainment Tonight.

Sorry!

With Love,

The Guys

Try to Handle the Awesomeness

Seriously, we dare you.

The Birth Story, Part One

Wow.

Talk about a completely transcendental experience. Everything that everyone says about childbirth is true. It's one of the greatest, neatest things you'll ever be a part of.

Kelsey had her 30-some odd week checkup the Wednesday before Henry was born. In the exam, her doctor was a little concerned that Henry was growing too big for her to deliver comfortably. With that in mind, she suggested that we induce on Friday. Obviously, you'd like to have the baby without inducing, because it's a more natural process for your body to go through. Isn't as shocking. But plenty of people do so, with no ill effects.

One of Kelsey's friends had a very good experience inducing labor with acupuncture, so we decided to give that a shot. She went in Thursday for her acupuncture, and that seemed to bring things along a little. Her contractions were a little more constant, although still sporadic.

When you have your first child, you read everything about everything, but you don't necessarily know a contraction when you see it. In the early stages, it feels a lot like cramping. So you ask yourselves, "Ok, am I just lucky? Am I having light labor pains? Is this baby going to fall out in twenty minutes?"

Then your mother/mother-in-law tells you about the friend they have that had to sit on a hamper because the baby was coming out, come hell or high water. Will that happen to us too?

Well, not really, but we didn't know it then. So we were thinking "My God, the acupuncture worked! We're going to have this baby tonight!" So what did we do? Go to the hospital?

Naw, we went to Chuy's. Kelsey's favorite restaurant. Where she and Amy would have lunch at one location, then dinner at the next.

Since it was a Thursday night, and it was 8 PM, we knew we were looking at a minimum 45 minute wait to get a table. When you're starting early labor, you don't want to wait 45 minutes for a table.

We called ahead. Kelsey explained that she was in labor, wanted to have Chuy's for her last meal, and if there was any way we could get on the list, which is usually a no-no (you have to be there). After some wrangling with the manager, they said sure, they'll make an exception in this case.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a white-faced young lad, who barked out to another hostess "We need to get these people in a two-top (is that the term?) immediately!" I guess he didn't realize that early labor is not active labor, and must've thought we were going to drop amniotic fluid all over their fine linoleum floors.

I don't think we've ever been served faster in our lives. We maybe spent a total of 15 minutes, from ordering to finishing our food, they wanted us and our bag of amniotic fluid out of there that fast. To sweeten the deal, they knocked off half of our bill, so I made sure to tip the Waitress extra nicely. Gotta spread the love.

So, that was a pretty nice pre-delivery experience. We went home, went to bed, and planned for our 5:30 induction. I don't think I slept more than ten minutes at a time, I was ready for her to go at any moment.

Next: Birth Story, Part Deux

Naming Rights

FYI - Webb is Henry's middle name, no hyphenated last name.

We're Home.

We can't wait to sleep in our own bed(s).

Full recap is coming, hopefully when things slow down tonight.

If we haven't been able to get in touch with you yet, we will, and we're thinking about you, too.

God Bless Henry Webb Althoff

Full account to come... for now, enjoy.

Off to the Hospital...

Well, we're off to the hospital. Kelsey's been having some pretty regular contractions all night, and they're increasing in intensity. She was scheduled to be induced at 5:30 am (ouch) this morning, but, at this rate, that may not be necessary.

She's taking a shower, I'm trying not to freak out. Randomly grabbing articles of clothing and stuffing them in her bag. What's that, Kelsey? You won't be needing your little black dress? Oh, yeah, that's right...

Wish us luck!

Contractions (Updated)

I'm not talking about baseball getting rid of a few teams.

At about 3AM this morning, Kelsey began to complain about cramps. As the day has progressed, her cramps have gotten a little more regular, but not terribly unbearable. Case in point: she is out shopping as I type!

Some think those aren't cramps, they're contractions. I think something is beginning to happen here...

Update:
Well, apparently those "contractions" weren't contractions. After a few hours of cramping that never really went anywhere, we pretty much figured out that Kelsey wasn't in labor. Which is too bad, because we were rather excited about the idea of Henry being born...

News Flash! Practice Child LOVES Babies.

Emma came over this evening to visit. She is all about giving kisses right now. When Amy told her to give Deuce kisses, here is what went down;

She put a death grip on his floppy jowls to pull his face to hers.

She then opened her mouth wide and leaned in.

Then partially inserted is nose into her mouth.

Then she repeated this manouver 17 times because Amy and I were laughing so hard. This is the same way Emma kisses humans too, except she doesn't go for the nose so much. I was so proud of Deuce. He sat sweetly next to her the whole time. I hope to have a similar reenactment with Henry in six months.

Wednesday, March 15

I had another appointment today and was excited to find that I am now 2.5 cm dialated. The excitement was short lived though. As Dr Schmitz was walking out the door she said with the sweetest smile, "If I had to predict, not based on any medical fact, I have a hunch you will deliver a week past your due date". I held back on telling her my hunch that I was going to reach out out and give her a Texas Titty Twister if she did not promptly exit the exam room.

Truly Disgusting

I have always prided myself on having beautiful feet. I am not trying to be arrogant, it is just that in my non pregnant life, I really have perfect feet. People tell me that all the time. Trust me, I would much rather be bragging about my butt. I just know how to appreciate the assets I have.

One of the top items on my pre-labor to do list has been getting a pedicure. In the past week, there have been disturbing developements in the appearance of my feet and ankles which quickly moved the pedicure up to the number 2 item on the list- above installing the car seat (yes, the situation is that dire).

You know the "Man Hands" episode of Sienfeld? That is me. Only with mankles. Swollen and pudgy all the way up to my chubby sausage link toes. God love Greg for his ability to control his gag reflex as he stuffs those suckers into my shoes everyday. This state of the union below my knees is currently the only driving force behind my taking the two hours required to shave these days (which involves a good deal of creative shower positioning and some not-so-nice words).

So I get my window of opportunity to try to pretty up the feet and what do I do? Only arrive home with the most hideous coral pink colored nails, which amazingly enhances the pudginess factor of my toes. I still can't explain how that color got anywhere close to my body. The fumes in the salon must have really started to affect me be by the time I got to row three of the polish options. My feet now look like those of a Florida retiree. Needless to say, I am going back to get that changed today, as I know that color will infuriate me to look at when I am in labor.

While I am more than happy to have sacrificed my body for Henry, I am more than ready to get it back.

Famous Henrys Throughout Time #1

Henry Louis "Hank" Aaron



Exhibiting an understated style that became his trademark, Hank Aaron became the all-time home run champion via one of the most consistent offensive careers in baseball history. In addition to his 755 home runs, he also holds the major league record for total bases, extra-base hits and RBI. Aaron was named the 1957 National League MVP, won three Gold Gloves for his play in right field and was named to a record 24 All-Star squads.

Quote
"Trying to throw a fastball by Henry Aaron is like trying to sneak a sunrise past a rooster."
— Curt Simmons

(Bio courtesy of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Used without permission)

Practice Child

Dear Henry,

This here is Poopship Destroyer Delano Roosevelt II, Esquire. You will know him as Deuce. He currently thinks his name is Henry and that your room is his, due to the fact that our attempts to prepare him for your arrival only confused him and ultimately backfired on us. He comes running when I talk or sing to you. You kick hard when he rests his head on my belly and when I raise my voice suddenly to repremand him for drinking out of the toilet. He is the reason your little baby clothes will be covered in tiny black hairs. He is the reason your high chair tray will be cleared from all edible items in one fell swoop if your mom and dad are not paying attention. He will present you with additional challenges when you are learning to walk, and we are quite certian that your first sentence will be, "No, Deuce!"

Because he is horselike in size, I have been obsessed with the thought of you getting to ride him one day. I am still bummed that your dad put the smackdown on my buying that little saddle when we were in Mexico. It was the perfect size and I even talked the guy down to selling it to me for 400 pesos! (your dad clearly does not believe I am serious about this, and is not aware of the amount of plotting I have done to bring this riding dream to fruition). Just think how fun it would be to go up to the park giddy-up style. Baby David up the street would be so jealous...

Anyway, while we know that caring for you will not be comparable to what it has been like with Deuce, we have learned some skills that have got to help a little. We are not phased by having to clean up poop and throw up. We have learned to be accountable for another life. And the best part- his cage is large enough to house you both when mama has to run to the grocery to get her cigarettes and wine coolers.

Seriously though, I can't imagine what kind of crazy love we will have for you, feeling the way we do about this 120lb non-human.

Love,

Mom

Today's Visit to the Doctor

Those of you that have had babies will probably know what I'm talking about.

2 cm dialation, 30% effacement.

In layman's terms, that means that Kelsey's body has more or less started the process of getting ready for Henry to be born. Some people can go for a month at 2 cm dialation, others end up going into labor a week later. There's no real way to tell how soon Henry's coming, but a good guess is that he'll probably be born before his due date!

My guess: March 18th, in the neighborhood of 8 1/2 lbs.

What's yours?